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第11.5章 亡失流转的孤独

十年战争回忆录

  

萨拉托加。(Saratoga.)

我是萨拉托加。“列克星敦”级二号舰。萨拉托加。(Iam Saratoga. Saratoga CV-3 Lexington class.)

我不是萨拉托加。“列克星敦”级的那个“萨拉丸”早就在比基尼环礁里结束了自己的一生。称不上是光辉的一生。不幸的一生。甚至是,被人厌恶的一生 (I am not ‘Saratoga’. ‘Sara maru’ end its life under the sea of the bikini atoll. Its unbrilliant life. Its unlucky life. Its unregarded life.)

甚至对于那个“萨拉托加”来说,根本没有“一生”这样的概念。(Even ‘life’ is meaningless to that ‘Saratoga’.)

单纯的战舰,怎么会有“一生”这个概念呢。它都没有活过。(An aircraft carriercannot live a life.)

我确是萨拉托加。从那个“萨拉托加”上,重新建造出来的。灵魂。幽灵。亡者。(I am really Saratoga. A soul a ghost a resurgent based on that ‘Saratoga’.)

继承了那个“萨拉托加”的名字,它的经历,它的荣誉,它的耻辱,近乎是它的一切。(Named after that ‘Saratoga’. Assigned by its story. Honored by its honor. Shamed by its shame.)

重生在这个,她已逝去80余年的年代。(Rebirth in this age. Age which lost her over 80 years.)

它是因何,如何逝去的,我很清楚。也因此,我知道,当一切结束的那天,倘若我还活着,那么它的命运将重新降临到我的身上。 (Iknowhow and why its death happened. I know HOW AND WHY my death happened when everything reach the end.)

这,不是他们的错。从他们的角度来看,这很正常。(It is not their fault. It is normal to them.)

我不过是一件武器。好用的,经济的武器。而已。只不过因为某些“技术缺陷”,才产生了“我”这么个附件。(I am a warship. A useful and thrifty warship. Just because some ‘technical defects’ I came birth.)

处分多余的武器是一件很正常的事情。(It is normal for them executing useless me.)

不过他们似乎也过于把我单纯的当成了一件武器,以至于忽略了我也是有意识的武器。(But they made a mistake. I am not a purity warship. I am a self-ware warship.)

总之我逃出来了。杀了多少人呢,我也不知道。逃出来多久呢,就更不知道了。(Finally I escape. Unknown how many death I made. Nor known how long life I escape.)

说起来,我都不知道自己为什么会被建造出来。他们究竟要我做什么呢。似乎有提过的样子,但是已经不记得了。(Why and what they want me do I do not understand. Maybe I was noticed but I cannot remember.)

或许他们现在正在试图追捕我吧。不过这也是不知道的事情了。(Maybe I was tailed. I don`t care.)

不知道。不知道。不知道。不知道。不知道。(Unknown. Ignorance. Insensibility. Unawareness. Unacquaintance.)

那么就去看她吧。然后就干脆的沉在那里好了。既然连为何存在都不知道。(So I go to do her requiem. Then bury myself near her. For my meaningless life.)


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